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A married man says he became “obsessed” with another woman after meeting her at a course - but his wife has since forgiven him after realising it “wasn’t his fault”.<br/><br/>Ruth Perl, 58, and her husband David, 64, have spent 13 years recovering from the incident.<br/><br/>David never acted on his feelings towards the person he fancied - but he chose to tell the woman after confiding in Ruth.<br/><br/>He started researching an emotional experience known as ‘limerence’ - which means intrusive, romantic thoughts about another person. <br/><br/>David realised his feelings were unwanted - he had no control over them and wasn't interested in beginning an affair with the woman. <br/><br/>After telling Ruth about his realisation, the couple spent time rebuilding their relationship - and say they’re happier than ever.<br/><br/>David, a couples’ therapist from St. Albans, Herts., said: “It wasn’t a normal crush, it was weird and disturbing - but we’ve put in the years to heal ourselves since.<br/><br/>“It was a difficult one - I did end up telling the other person, as I was encouraged to do so through therapy.<br/><br/>“I think she was horrified - in hindsight, it was really unfair to put that on her.<br/><br/>“But it’s all about forgiveness, we’ve done the work and are happier than ever.”<br/><br/>David met the woman he developed feelings for on January 14, 2011 - after chatting to her at a training course.<br/><br/>Their conversation lasted less than 20 minutes, but David could feel he was “besotted” by her - without being able to put a finger on why.<br/><br/>“I’ve had crushes before,” he added. “We both have. But nothing like this - this was really unusual.”<br/><br/>David thought about her, night-and-day, for weeks.<br/><br/>He looked online at forums about “obsessive love” - and came across a post about limerence.<br/><br/>He said: “I thought, 'jeez, this is what I’ve got to a T.'<br/><br/>“Something’s not right - I was absolutely obsessed and I only spoke to her for 20 minutes.<br/><br/>“I kept going over every single word she said to me, every little action.<br/><br/>“The moment I’d wake up, I’d rehearse in my head what I might say to her if she came up to talk to me.<br/><br/>“I’d experience soaring highs if she replied to an email - and extreme lows if she didn’t.<br/><br/>“It was like an intermittent reward.”<br/><br/>Knowing the feeling wasn’t going to go away any time soon, he decided to tell Ruth - who also works as a couples’ therapist.<br/><br/>She said: “David told me, and this was all going on about five days after my dad’s funeral.<br/><br/>“I was in horrific grief at the time, and so my first thoughts were: ‘Oh, for god’s sake. How can you be so bloody stupid?’<br/><br/>“My dad had just died, and my husband wanted to p*ss off into fantasy land.<br/><br/>“We went into freefall, and it was a very, very difficult 12 months.”<br/><br/>After choosing to concentrate on grieving for her dad for a year, Ruth says she “finally had the brain capacity” to sit down with David, and ask him what was going on.<br/><br/>He hadn’t acted on his feelings - and actively decided he wouldn’t “consummate” the crush.<br/><br/>“David reached out to me,” Ruth said. “He asked me, ‘please help me understand what’s going on.’<br/><br/>“He was so confused. I asked him if he still wanted to be married, and he said, ‘I don’t want to throw away what we’ve got.’<br/><br/>“I told him to sit in the confusion, and I’d do what I could to support him.<br/><br/>“But I knew that what will be will be, we might not necessarily make it out of this.”<br/><br/>David said: “We started having marriage counselling - and one thing I want to stress is it isn’t an excuse to cheat.<br/><br/>“I was responsible for what I did - but it did make me realise that often, people don’t set out to have an affair.”<br/><br/>David explored some of the ways therapists encourage people to “heal” from limerence - including starving themselves from contact, or consummating it with the other person.<br/><br/>He settled on going to therapy, and letting the woman know he couldn’t speak to her anymore.<br/><br/>Now, David and Ruth help other couples going through the same thing - and have taught their children, Hannah-Mai, 32, and Isobel, 29, how to value their own relationships.<br/><br/>Ruth said: “It was important our two daughters knew about all this.<br/><br/>“They were older teenagers when this was all going on, and they understood it.<br/><br/>“We thought it was very important for them to understand that all marriages have differences - but you don’t throw the towel in when the going gets tough.<br/><br/>“Even when you’re talking about a full-blown physical affair. Once is a mistake, twice is a habit.”

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Thomas u0026 Friends

The Great Race: The Flying Scotsman | The Great Race Railway Show | Thomas & Friends

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Cole u0026 Jay

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Dashcam video shot on April 26 showed the moment a powerful tornado destroyed a building in Lincoln, Nebraska during a deadly, multi-state outbreak of severe storms.<br/><br/>The building, hit by the twister carrying winds as high as 158 m/ph (254 km/h), belonged to Garner Industries.<br/><br/>According to local media, there were dozens of workers still inside as the tornado struck, but all survived the incident.<br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline

Dashcam video captures powerful tornado wiping out building in Nebraska in late April

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LONBICOOL TV

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FEMA

#WeAreFEMA: When Disaster Strikes the Frederick MERS is on the Move

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A tiny chick has hatched from one of four eggs laid by peregrine falcons nesting on the University of Leeds’ Parkinson Tower today. <br/><br/>This year, the birds of prey have laid four eggs. So far, one chick hatched at 2.43pm today after a month-long incubation period.<br/><br/>Video: The University of Leeds

Watch the first tiny Peregrine chick hatch on Leeds University building (Video: University of Leeds)

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FEMA

DR-4756-WV West Virginia Flooding Disaster PSA

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Firefighters have ended the search and rescue operation in the Lahad Datu water surge incident after it was confirmed that everyone involved has been accounted for.<br/><br/>Lahad Datu Fire and Rescue Department station chief Sumsoa Rashid said it was ascertained that 15 people - were part of the group that got swept away by the water surge at the Maksina Valley on Sunday (May 5), and not 17 people as reported earlier.<br/><br/>Read more at https://tinyurl.com/33wjr27b<br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline<br/>

Search efforts in Lahad Datu water surge incident called off

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A 13-year-old boy and two others still at large were charged in the Kajang Magistrate's Court on Friday (May 3) for animal cruelty by setting a kitten on fire last week.<br/><br/>CCTV footage of the incident has gone viral.<br/><br/>Read more at https://tinyurl.com/3xjwzk68<br/><br/>WATCH MORE: https://thestartv.com/c/news<br/>SUBSCRIBE: https://cutt.ly/TheStar<br/>LIKE: https://fb.com/TheStarOnline

Boy, 13, pleads guilty to setting kitten on fire

⏲ 1:13 👁 32M

Victoria Police released CCTV of a man they are hoping to identify and speak to about the incident. An 81-year-old woman was struck by an e-scooter on Friday, May 3 at 11pm walking towards Jolimont Railway Station from the MCG in East Melbourne.

Appeal for witnesses to e-scooter hit and run which struck 81 year old

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A tragic incident unfolds in Russia's Belgorod region as a Ukrainian drone targets worker vehicles, resulting in 6 fatalities and 35 injuries. Governor Vyacheslav Gladkov reports on the devastating aftermath, shedding light on the escalating threat of Ukrainian drone strikes in the area. Stay tuned for the latest updates on this developing story. <br/> <br/>#RussiaUkraineWar #Russia #Ukraine #UkraineRussiaWar #VladimirPutin #VolodymyrZelenskyy #UkrainianDrone #RussiaMissiles #RussiaUkraineTensions #Oneindia <br/> <br/><br/>~PR.274~ED.101~

Russia-Ukraine War: 6 Lives Lost, 35 Injured in Ukrainian Drone Attack inBelgorod | Oneindia News

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